I'll Do It Later
I come home to a mess of a house. Well–not house, apartment. I live alone with a cat and a goldfish. Yet, the carpet is torn, plates and glasses are broken, and scattered on the floor, couches, lamps, and tables are knocked over–it’s horrible! I come home staggering out of work as a failing college student and exhausted part-time barista, and now I’ve got to clean this up?!
My cat, Noodles, scatters by looking particularly scared and guilty, so I scruff him and hold him up. “What is this!? Bad! Bad cat! Why, why!? What. Is. This?!!” I shouted at him, the anger apparent in my voice. I almost felt guilty when he whimpered pitifully and wrangled in my grasp. I just scoffed and rolled my eyes, letting him drop to the floor. Noodles sprinted into the bathroom, in which I hope he hasn’t destroyed that too.
Before I got started on cleaning this mess, I would need to feed my goldfish. I’ve had her for about two years–originally a test to see if I had enough responsibility for a pet–insisted by my mother even after I had moved out (As soon as I could, just a few days after I turned eighteen). After I did, I waited a month or so to find the perfect cat, Noodles. Fortunately, he doesn’t attack fish. So, my little goldish, Scribbles, is safe.
I keep the fish food right by the tank, so it makes it easier. I grab it, open the hatch, and sprinkle it all over the water. Scribble swishes around and nibbles on the pieces around her. Soaring gracefully around the water, I watch her for a long minute before sighing and turning back to the mess.
Where should I even get started? How am I supposed to clean this up? Not only that, it looks like I have to replace some things…with MY money. Not to mention I’ve got homework to do…sigh. A sudden movement in the corner of my eye catches my gaze. Its Noodles–the culprit. I narrow my eyes slightly as I walk over to him and quickly stroke on the back to feint petting him before grabbing him and putting him in his room.
My apartment has four areas. The living room which connects to the kitchen and front door, two closets in a mini hallway, two rooms, and a bathroom with a washer and dryer, it might sound spacious but it’s not. One of the two rooms is my bedroom, and the other is a room dedicated completely to cats. I only have Noodles, but I’m planning on getting another.
I had started to clean when I realized I shouldn’t be doing this. I couldn’t be doing this. I have to get that homework done. It’s due tomorrow. I can do this on a day when I dont have homework. It’ll take too long. I’ll do it later.
I take a glance around the apartment before sighing heavily and dragging my way to my bed. On my way, I can hear Noodles scratching at the door of the cat room, meowing softly every few seconds. I pause and stare with a deadpan expression. uHes trying to guilt me despite causing this mess. Pfft, no way!
I zipped open my bag and set it on my desk—luckily my room wasn’t made into a mess because the door was closed–as I pulled out my laptop. I gently toss it onto the bed as I sigh yet again. I dont want to do it. I dont want to do anything. I want to curl up into a ball and die. That’s it. Before I can get to work, a putrid, disdainful scent fills my nose. It seems to be wafting from the cat room; Poop.
I would try to ignore it and get my work done, but it’s too bad to put aside. I groan to myself as I run a hand through my brown hair and make my way to the act room. When I open the door, Noodles immediately sprints out like he’s been locked in there for years–actually about seven minutes. I roll my eyes before going in. The smell is even worse to the point of feeling like I need to throw up. And…I do.
A few steps from the doorway, in front of me. Some even get on the edge of my white socks. It’s disgusting. I can’t remember the last timeI threw up. It looks like oatmeal with bigger chunks and acts like it–slowly spreading itself across the carpet as if hundreds of worms are trying to crawl in different directions but all connected at their tails. A sickly green color with patches of beige and tints of a deep red or violet color. It may seem concerning but I have to focus on the litter.
My eyes dart over to the source of the smell that builds up more vomit in my stomach and throat. I slap my hand over my mouth and force myself to swallow it. It tastes bland, but somehow sour and disgusting bitter with a metallic hint that makes my mouth cringe and my eyes water.
I stumble out of the room back to my bedroom where the smell is still bad but easier to digest. I scramble around, looking for something to plug my nose. Eventually, I find a paper clip which isn’t the best but good enough. I click it over my nose and begin to breathe through my mouth. “Ugh…”
I shiver in disgust as I enter the cat room again and get a good look at the feces sitting in the litter box. I suppose I’ve been neglecting it for a while because I see dried cat poop and piss in there as well. It takes up the whole bottom layer of litter. I suddenly hear a thud in the living room but I assume it’s just Noodles messing more things up. Anyways, the one causing the putrid smell sits slightly off to the side, sitting over the others in a huge pile. My eyebrows furrow slightly as I put my hand over my mouth again. I force myself to walk forward and bend down.
The smell is seeping into my nose but the paper clip is doing a good enough job at not wanting to make me throw up–again. As I go to pick up the litter box, I notice something. In the feces. Something small, white. Like the size of my fingernails. I grit my teeth and lean closer, but before I can figure out what it is, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I take the opportunity to put space between me and the pile of shit as I check it. Its from…my girlfriend.
“Coming over, sweetie! I know it’s a bit sudden but I want to see those beautiful green eyes of yours! Be there in two minutes, love you!” The message reads.
Oh no. What am I going to do? Maybe, If I hurry, I can at least clean up the stench. I grab the litter box and take a glance at the white things in the feces before stopping completely. They look like pills. Pills. Pills?
Come to think of it, I caught a glance of them when I got home. My ADHD pills. Spilled in the mess. Just a few scattered on the kitchen floor. But, I had just got it refilled at the pharmacy yesterday evening. Wait…
Just then, I heard the door swing open. A scream. A bloodcurdling scream. My eyes widened as a wave of realization came over me and I sprinted to my feet and skidded to a stop at the doorway of the cat room. Misa. My cat’s corpse. Lying still on the floor. Foam at the edges of his mouth.
Misa looked at me in shock. Disgust. Fear. She ran.
I stayed still, unable to call after her or utter a single word at all. My breath came out in short, quick gasps. The paper clip still over my nose made it hard to breathe. I started to feel lightheaded when my legs folded under me, my body collapsing to the floor. My vision spinned as I lost consciousness.
I find myself in a dark, endless void. There’s a thin layer of water at my feet. Black. Everything is black. Is this death? Did I have a panic attack? Just what is this place?
“Charlie. Why did you leave me?” A teenager’s voice called. He sounded disappointed, sad, scared–fearful. It was bodiless.
“H-Huh? Wh- Who?”
“It’s me, Charlie. Noodles.” He introduced himself. Noodles? That’s impossible. He’s a cat—cats dont talk. Not to mention…He’s dead. “But… y-you’re…”
“You left me. Alone.” He continued, interrupting me. “In that horrible apartment. A litter box I could barely use. A goldfish begging for me to kill her with my own claws. Pills on the counter. Charlie. I had no choice but to kill myself.”
“B-But you made that mess. A- And how do you know what suicide is?” I stammered, scared out of my mind.
“No. You made that mess. When your last girlfriend, Eve, caught you cheating on her with Misa, and drinking–Illegally.” He went on as I started to whip around in the cold, dark void to find the body of this voice.
When I didn’t find anything, I tried to defend myself. “I-”
“Wake up. Take responsibility, Charlie.” And I did–to people shaking me awake and others crouched over my cat’s corpse. Neighbors.
Take responsibility… The words echoed.
But I can’t.
I’ll do it later.